Why I’m Not Letting Exhaustion Define Me Anymore

Why I’m Not Letting Exhaustion Define Me Anymore

Why I’m Not Letting Exhaustion Define Me Anymore

My baby is going to be ONE in a few short weeks. It is hard to believe that almost 365 days ago, my little person entered the world. My life has changed in so many ways since then. I’ve become more patient, I’ve learned how to be a mother, my opinions on nearly everything has changed, and I’ve learned to accept exhaustion as a norm.

It wasn’t until recently that I realised that exhaustion should not be normal.

Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is tiring, and I would love to be tired. It’s this exhausted thing that I am struggling with. My baby is a year old and still wakes up every hour in the night to nurse. Every. Hour. On top of that, he doesn’t have a bed time because bed time routines have never worked for him, which means he goes to sleep when Adam and I go to sleep. Oh, and he wakes up at 7 am every morning roaring and ready to go. I am struggling.

I want to be totally honest and talk about how this exhaustion has affected my life.

  • I lose my temper very easily
  • I dread waking up in the morning. I want to wake up excited to see my baby!
  • I tend to be cranky and emotional about the stupidest things (poor Adam)
  • My marriage is struggling because we are both so exhausted
  • I don’t get any quality time with Adam because Hudson is always awake (as much as we love spending time with him, it would be nice to have an hour to ourselves each night)
  • I don’t have the energy during the day to do the things I would like to do with Hudson
  • My house is messy and sometimes I am too tired to care
  • I’m afraid to leave him with anyone in the evenings because his sleep is so unpredictable and he relies on me for getting back to sleep.

The list goes on and i’m sure that some of you are feeling the same way and you don’t know what else to do. You, like me, have probably tried it all and have just accepted exhaustion as a way of life. It wasn’t until Janelle, a sleep consultant at Cradle Coach reached out and talked to me about their services and the importance of teaching my son the ability to put himself to sleep, that I realised that something needed to change.

She explained that right now, Hudson’s only sleep association is with nursing, so every hour when he goes into a lighter sleep, he is waking up and nursing to get himself back to sleep because it’s the only way he knows how. She described teaching him how to put himself to sleep as a “gift,” and you know what? That made sense. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I turn over, cradle my pillow, and fall back asleep. I should be helping my son to learn the same things.

That’s why I’ve made the decision to star a sleep training program with Janelle. Although they are located in America, she has been so readily available to answer all of my questions and has even offered to be available via phone throughout the whole night once we start the training. I filled out a questionnaire about Hudson and his personality and explained that I didn’t want to let him cry it out, and she returned in the next 24 hours with a personalized sleep plan for Hudson. When we skyped, it felt like I was talking to someone who had known Hudson forever. She really worked to create something that would be effective for him and his strong-willed personality.

This week we are going on vacation, but we have been doing little things to prepare Hudson for the sleep program that will begin when we return. We spend lots of time outside in the evenings, going for walks and playing at the park. We have gone back to a bedtime routine at an earlier time, and although he is still waking frequently, the block sleep from 7-10 is a great time for Adam and I to spend alone.IMG_20160810_185843

Over the next few weeks, I will be filling you in on our journey, and hopefully, by the time Hudson is one, we will have a baby who sleeps through the night!! If you have a baby who is struggling with sleep but you are unsure how to fix the problem, just know you aren’t alone. I have cried so many times at night because I was too tired and too frustrated. I hate myself when I get angry or frustrated at little things, but that is the reality of exhaustion!

Check out the services at The Cradle Coach and find out how they can help your family or check out this post on top secret baby sleep tips . When she said that I would wake up before him and that I would be excited to see him in the mornings, I was sold. It’s not even about the exhaustion as much as it is about my ability to be the best mom I can be. Stay Tuned!!



Being a mom means being tired, but if you have a baby who never sleeps, this article is for you. It is so important to understand that exhaustion is not normal and that your health is just as important as babies! Get control of your childs sleep habits so that both of you can be happier and healthier!

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  • I remember the first year as a haze of exhaustion, too. My bout with PPD didn’t help. It’s great that you’ve found a resource you can trust to help you. Keep your chin up, mama. You’re doing great!

  • Kim says:

    This post is going to help so many tired moms. I wish I knew about them 3 years ago because my daughter was like your sweet boy. After much trial and error, we found a system that works for her. I can’t wait to hear how your journey works out – and you get the rest you deserve!

  • McKinzie says:

    My little guy is the worst sleeper! I totally need this!

  • Fatima says:

    Awww man, im so sorry mama!! Sleep exhaustion is so real…but this too shall pass! I can’t wait to hear how things goes, this post needs to go viral so other moms know they’re not alone!

  • I might be contacting The Cradle Coach soon. (crying face from exhaustion) Our daughter is going to be 11 months old and she does the same thing. She relies on her bottle to get back to sleep and not self-soothing. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles and what you’re doing to help your family.
    -Jessica (a fellow exhausted momma) xoxo

  • Vanessa says:

    Hang tight mama. My son is almost 14 months and finally sleeping through the night. I always tell myself it won’t last forever!

  • Dicia says:

    My toddler son uses his binky to go back to sleep. The problem is that he loses that binky and will cry when he can’t find it. I’m going to have to break him from it soon. But he has learned to soothe himself with the binky though.

  • JeeYoung W says:

    Awww sweet H! I Can’t believe he’s almost one! What a great resource for babies & sleep!

  • Eryn Lynum says:

    Hope your vacation is restful and that your little guy adjusts to longer sleep periods! Such a hard thing, but then they learn how to sleep, and we miss those middle-of-the-night cuddles 😉

  • Melissa says:

    Good for you mama! I have heard great things about Cradle Coach. I hope it works for you 🙂

  • I really hope this works for you! I cannot wait to read updates! Good luck and I hope you all get a better sleeping routine very soon!

  • Jenn says:

    Can’t wait to see your progress and learn about your strategy! Hoping you get a full nights sleep soon.

  • Amanda says:

    I had been feeling the exact same way! My baby relied on nursing to go to sleep too and went through a period of night-waking to nurse. She is creeping up on one as well and is just now sleeping through the night more consistently. Hopefully your little man falls into a pattern soon so you can start to feel normal again! 🙂

  • Melissa says:

    I love this! So true sleep is so underrated and we just accept the lack of sleep as the truth of motherhood but eventually we have I take that back!

  • Kate says:

    Oh mama, that sounds rough! I’m so glad you found someone you’ve connected with, sounds like this will be a great help. I definitely relate to the effects exhaustion has on me. By the time I get home at the end of a long work day, my poor husband also gets the brunt of my short temper!

  • Leslie says:

    I know this feeling all too well! Your honesty is so appreciated, and it rings true with so many other mamas. Great post!

  • Rachel says:

    Good luck! We are doing this too and I can’t wait to see how it goes.

  • Emily says:

    Good luck Alexie! My daughter had difficulty sleeping her first year as well. We tried a variation of the cry it out method, and it saved us. Thanks for sharing. There is no feeling like being thoroughly exhausted.

  • Suzanne says:

    I’m a mama of five so I can completely relate to your situation. I’ve never heard of Cradle Coach or anything like it. I am so glad to hear that mamas can reach out to such places. I wish you luck in getting your little one (and household) to have a good nights sleep.

  • I know that exhaustion well, and thankfully my husband didn’t let me take it THAT far. Though, I can see how easy it is to get stuck feeling like it’s the only way.
    With baby #2 I did early bedtime right from the get go. With a few other tactics, he was sleeping 12 hrs through he night starting at 5 month. He’s now 8 months and still at it. And when I did this stuff with baby #1, we got her sleeping 12 hrs a night pretty rapidly also!
    You’l find that you, hubby, and baby will all have mood benefits from this. Way to go mama … You can do it!

  • Emily says:

    Oh mama!!! So sorry!!! I’m glad you have a sleep coach to help you all! It will be such a gift for you ALL! My boy is almost one & he hasn’t always been the best sleeper. We did various sleep coaching, from cry it out to not crying it out! Ha it’s funny looking back how many things I’ve done. Can’t wait to hear how it goes!!! xo

  • […] journey, it is not something I had considered as an option for my family. A few weeks ago I posted this post about the lack of sleep in our house and how it was affecting every element of my life. […]

Hi, I'm Alexie Flook

I am a twenty-something year old world-traveler, turned stay at home mom! I live in England with my 7 month old son, beautiful British husband, and neurotic boxer dog! This space is filled with personal thoughts, fun reviews, and down-to-earth chats about my journey through motherhood! Grab a cuppa and enjoy a browse.

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