First things first; when you become a mom, you automatically become a “failure.” Every single thing you do will be scrutinised and judged by SOMEONE! Whether it’s the midwife, the mom in the shopping centre, your mother-in-law, your own mother…someone will always have something to say about how you parent your child. So, according to everyone else, here are my top 10 failures as a mom.
- Co-Sleeping: I wish I could fill this whole line with the shocked/scared face emoji, but I can’t so just imagine that it’s there. Why? Because that’s the face I get when people find out I co-sleep. Yes, I co-sleep. We have slept with Hudson in our bed since day 1. He slept with me in the hospital bed. It was the only way he would sleep, and most of the time, it still is. I never thought I would co-sleep and before having Hudson, I was misinformed and uninformed and thought it was terrible. Boy, was I in for a shock when my little was born. I love co-sleeping. LOVE IT. I read up on it and learned the benefits and can say with confidence now that it is safe and it is the right decision for us. I get so tired of people saying “that’s such a terrible habit! He’ll never go in his own bed alone.” or “Just let him cry himself to sleep.” How about this. Mind your own business and worry about your own damn kid.
- Breastfeeding: I get tired of this debate. I am an advocate for breastfeeding and personally I love it, and I think every woman should try it, but to each his own. I chose to breastfeed my son. I will breastfeed him until I choose to breastfeed him. If that’s when he’s 18 months, that’s my business. If it’s tomorrow, that’s my business. If it’s when he’s 3, that’s my business. If I had a penny for the amount of times people say, “Is he STILL breastfeeding?” or “When will you switch him to formula?” I’d be rich. So what you’re saying is, you’re going to make me feel obligated to breastfeed my son but then tell me I have to stop when you say?
- Baby-Led Weaning: I didn’t give Hudson any food until he was six months old, and really, I waited until he was closer to seven. People thought I was cruel for not giving him baby rice and not letting him try things. According to everyone else, he was old enough to have this, that, or the other pureed thing…but really, I don’t care. I did what I felt was right and now I have a healthy 9 month old who wants to eat everything. Even now, people are shocked that he breastfeeds as much as he does.
- Television: Ok, i’m not proud of this one. I occasionally turn the tv on and let him watch baby television. I was so ashamed the first time I did it, but I quickly realised that 15 minutes of tv means 15 minutes I get to do the dishes and tidy up in the morning. I’ve been told that I should wait until he’s two and that scientists say…I don’t know what they say because that’s about the time I stopped listening in that conversation.
- Baby Bruises: We have chosen not to baby proof our house. I will be writing a blog on this soon, but due to this, and the fact that my eight month old son is walking on his own, he is a bit bruised up. Saying this, he falls, bumps his head and never cries! He’s learned how to fall right on his bum, and he’s gained a lot of freedom. Yes, people freak out when they see the edges of my coffee table not bubble wrapped, and yes, people have asked me to baby proof my house. To them I say, he’ll be fine, and carry on sipping my tea.
- I Coddle Him: I know i’m not always going to be there for him when he cries. I realise that i’m going to have to leave him one day. So stop telling me I need to let him cry or leave him because he’ll be too dependent on me. Maybe he will. However maybe, he’ll just learn to be dependent through trusting me. I want him to always know that I will be there to help him. If he falls, I will be there. If there is a problem at school, he can cry to me. That is my job as his mom. If I “coddle’ him, it’s only because I love him too much and I know that there will be a time when he won’t need a cuddle anymore and I won’t get to spend my Saturday nights with him in my arms.
- I’m a Food Nazi: I take what my kid eats very seriously. I literally am like an army sergeant. I know that every one around me thinks i’m a complete nut job because I won’t let him have a biscuit and I read labels religiously to check for added salts and sugars, but I don’t care. I did at first. I would get so frustrated when people questioned me about why he can’t have juice…but now I just have confidence in my decisions. He’s nine months old. Why the hell would I give him extra salts and sugars and other crap his little body can get addicted to. Like I say to everyone else, he’ll have plenty of sugar in his lifetime, just not when he’s a baby. Leave me alone.
- I Forget Diapers: This is kind of funny. I am so bad at adulting. Honestly, I would forget my own head if it weren’t screwed on. I have a huge diaper bag and I try hard to keep it stacked to the brim with all the goodies Hudson could EVER need, but there are too many times where we get somewhere and oh shit, I forgot a clean diaper. No joke, I have had to wrap my son in muslin until we found a place to buy a diaper. Embarrassing? Yes. Total mom fail? Absolutely. Do people judge me? Probably. Do I care? Nope. I have never claimed to be perfect. I wasn’t born a mom, but I was born awesome.
- I Get Frustrated: When Hudson won’t sleep or won’t stop screaming or wakes up at 2 am and thinks it’s time to start the day, I get frustrated. Sometimes I get really frustrated. I get so embarrassed when I look back at these moments and feel like maybe i’m not cut out for this mom stuff, but I know that’s not the case. I see these perfect moms on Instagram and wonder if they ever want to chuck their babies out the window too. Then I realise that of course they do. We all do at some point. Why am I made to feel bad about loving my baby but not liking him sometimes? at The “new mom glow” isn’t real. It’s just a saying to make new moms feel good about themselves after pushing a 7 pound baby out of their vagina.
- I Got Him Vaccinated: This is another fun one. No matter what you do, someone will tell you you’re doing it wrong. I had people telling me not to vaccinate, I had people telling me I had to vaccinate, I had people telling me to choose which vaccines I wanted. I consulted a doctor and spoke about what I had read and decided to vaccinate very closely to the schedule they recommend with a few minor adjustments. Oh did I hear it from all sides. According to one person, I might as well have bought him a coffin and according to someone else, I was an idiot for not just doing the exact schedule they gave me. According to me, he’s still getting everything everyone else is, just a little bit slower so that his body can handle it.
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t judged other moms. We all do, but since having Hudson, I have definitely become more understanding of others. I have adapted a do-what-works-for-you attitude about most things. I think people make decisions, not mistakes. Like I said, everything you do will be considered a mistake by someone, but then again, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are the two candidates for president so that’s the state of the world we live in. Own your mistakes! Be confident in your mistakes! Most importantly, smile and show the haters that your mistake is actually a great decision.
Do you have anything you would add to the list? Share in the comments below! I would like to think i’m not the only one living life on the edge hehe.