Life After the Honeymoon Stage
Life After the Honeymoon Stage
Who doesn’t love the honeymoon stage? There is something amazing about those first few months of a relationship when you want to spend every waking minute with each other, and everything seems so new, and the person you’re seeing is perfect. Eventually though, reality sets in and one of you farts in front of the other one, and that my friends is when the honeymoon stage is over. You know what i’m talking about; the moment you realise that in fact, your partner does shit, and his shit does stink. He in fact is a mortal, not an angel sent from heaven, and he’s not perfect. And while yes, the honeymoon stage is beautiful and fun, there’s something to be said about accepting the person you love and all of their flaws.
The first time my husband came to visit me in America he took about 5 showers a day. I was so worried that he MUST have some sort of problem that I called my mother during one of these “showers” and asked her if I should be concerned. It wasn’t until two years later that he admitted that the showers were actually an excuse for him to use the toilet. Oh if only that were the case now! No, the reality is that we are way more comfortable around each other. I love that I don’t have to feel embarrassed to be myself and I know that no matter what I do, he will still love me. I love that I don’t have to put on my makeup every day or pretend I like the things he likes. I can just be me.
When the honeymoon stage was over, the most crucial part of our relationship began. We were able to get to know each other on a much deeper level. Our conversations went from “what’s your favourite colour” to “how many children do you want?” I slowly, little by little, showed him my crazy tendencies. Each time I did something weird, I would hold my breath and wait for him to run out the door. He never did. He accepted me as I was, in the place that I was. That doesn’t mean that we have always agreed with each other. We have had plenty a heated discussion on the differences in our ways of thinking, but at the end of the day, we always choose each other.
During the honeymoon stage, there is a certain infatuation with your partner. You want to know where they are and what they’re doing, and you want to be with them. You overanalyse every text, every conversation, every missed phone call. When the honeymoon stage is over, trust begins. As you develop your relationship and open up to your partner and realise that they aren’t perfect, you begin to trust them. You understand that they are just as vulnerable as you. You stop worrying about what they are doing and you don’t have to overanalyse anything because you know them. You really know them. You can tell from the look in their eye that they are upset. You can tell by their tone of voice that they are scared. You don’t have to guess anymore.
Too many people talk about how great the honeymoon stage is without realising how great the next stage is! When Adam and I are sitting on the couch in our pajamas eating two large pizzas, wings, and cookies, I think back to the days where we would go out and I would get a salad. Who did I want him to think I was? A rabbit? I love that I can be myself, totally, and he will still look at me and tell me i’m beautiful. That kind of love doesn’t happen in the honeymoon stage.
Neither of us is perfect. We both have plenty of flaws. He puts buffalo sauce on EVERY THING, and loses his keys and wallet everyday, and falls asleep when we’re watching tv together. I pick my fingernails, forget to hang up my coat, and tend to be irrational. I still think he’s the most handsome man in the world and I would never ever go back and choose anyone else. I love him and I love his flaws, and he loves me and loves my flaws. We are a team and we make each other better people. We work together to be the best parents and best examples to Hudson that we can. I want Hudson to see our imperfect love and strive to have the same thing with someone else.
The honeymoon stage is a necessary step in a relationship, but it certainly isn’t the best part. The best part is when you’ve been together for ages and you still love each other. I still get butterflies sometimes when I see Adam and I am still proud to call him my husband and my partner in crime. The honeymoon stage is over when your boyfriend becomes your best friend, and as long as you nurture the relationship, it only gets better from there!