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Life After the Honeymoon Stage

Life After the Honeymoon Stage

Life After the Honeymoon Stage

Who doesn’t love the honeymoon stage? There is something amazing about those first few months of a relationship when you want to spend every waking minute with each other, and everything seems so new, and the person you’re seeing is perfect. Eventually though, reality sets in and one of you farts in front of the other one, and that my friends is when the honeymoon stage is over. You know what i’m talking about; the moment you realise that in fact, your partner does shit, and his shit does stink. He in fact is a mortal, not an angel sent from heaven, and he’s not perfect. And while yes, the honeymoon stage is beautiful and fun, there’s something to be said about accepting the person you love and all of their flaws.

The first time my husband came to visit me in America he took about 5 showers a day. I was so worried that he MUST have some sort of problem that I called my mother during one of these “showers” and asked her if I should be concerned. It wasn’t until two years later that he admitted that the showers were actually an excuse for him to use the toilet. Oh if only that were the case now! No, the reality is that we are way more comfortable around each other. I love that I don’t have to feel embarrassed to be myself and I know that no matter what I do, he will still love me. I love that I don’t have to put on my makeup every day or pretend I like the things he likes. I can just be me.

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When the honeymoon stage was over, the most crucial part of our relationship began. We were able to get to know each other on a much deeper level. Our conversations went from “what’s your favourite colour” to “how many children do you want?” I slowly, little by little, showed him my crazy tendencies. Each time I did something weird, I would hold my breath and wait for him to run out the door. He never did. He accepted me as I was, in the place that I was. That doesn’t mean that we have always agreed with each other. We have had plenty a heated discussion on the differences in our ways of thinking, but at the end of the day, we always choose each other.

During the honeymoon stage, there is a certain infatuation with your partner. You want to know where they are and what they’re doing, and you want to be with them. You overanalyse every text, every conversation, every missed phone call. When the honeymoon stage is over, trust begins. As you develop your relationship and open up to your partner and realise that they aren’t perfect, you begin to trust them. You understand that they are just as vulnerable as you. You stop worrying about what they are doing and you don’t have to overanalyse anything because you know them. You really know them. You can tell from the look in their eye that they are upset. You can tell by their tone of voice that they are scared. You don’t have to guess anymore.

Too many people talk about how great the honeymoon stage is without realising how great the next stage is! When Adam and I are sitting on the couch in our pajamas eating two large pizzas, wings, and cookies, I think back to the days where we would go out and I would get a salad. Who did I want him to think I was? A rabbit? I love that I can be myself, totally, and he will still look at me and tell me i’m beautiful. That kind of love doesn’t happen in the honeymoon stage.

Neither of us is perfect. We both have plenty of flaws. He puts buffalo sauce on EVERY THING, and loses his keys and wallet everyday, and falls asleep when we’re watching tv together. I pick my fingernails, forget to hang up my coat, and tend to be irrational. I still think he’s the most handsome man in the world and I would never ever go back and choose anyone else. I love him and I love his flaws, and he loves me and loves my flaws. We are a team and we make each other better people. We work together to be the best parents and best examples to Hudson that we can. I want Hudson to see our imperfect love and strive to have the same thing with someone else.

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The honeymoon stage is a necessary step in a relationship, but it certainly isn’t the best part. The best part is when you’ve been together for ages and you still love each other. I still get butterflies sometimes when I see Adam and I am still proud to call him my husband and my partner in crime. The honeymoon stage is over when your boyfriend becomes your best friend, and as long as you nurture the relationship, it only gets better from there!

Always,

Alexie

alwaysalexie

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16 Comments
  • JeeYoung says:

    Life after the honeymoon stage is SO much better! 🙂

    I also remember holding my breath when we started to have those “serious” talks about what we both wanted out of life 🙂

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      Yesss! I remember literally just waiting for him to be like, uhm, no. Glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore!

  • I love this! The honeymoon stage is FUN, but not the best part. After the farts, the best part really begins! Great read!

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      Hahahahaha I’m glad you agree! Although I still yell at my husband daily for farting in my vicinity. sigh.

  • Since I have been with my hubs for 10 years that phase is long gone. But it’s fun to remember!

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      I think the honeymoon phase really ended for us during my pregnancy when my body didnt even have control of my own body hahahaha. Poor guy…he didn’t have a chance!

  • My favorite part is I don’t have to wear makeup everyday or even shower everyday lol. I feel like there is so much freedom in not having to have a piece of gum in my mouth every time I want to kiss my husband!

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      AMEN SISTER! Literally I love that I can be at my absolute lowest and know he is still like yea, she’s mine. haha I love love love the freedom of not worrying about myself and worry more about the important things in life!

  • Tricia says:

    I was laughing out loud about his 5 showers a day! I enjoyed reading your post and it sounds like you two have a great relationship!

  • I agree. It just gets better and better after the honeymoon stage!

  • Joy says:

    I agree, there is something profoundly beautiful about someone loving the real you and you being able to love the real them right back!

  • Dicia says:

    Today is my husband and mine 8th wedding anniversary! The stage after the honeymoon stage is awesome!!!! We are still madly in love with each other and want to be with each other, but we are comfortable with our space too. And the farting never stops.. LOL 🙂

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      Hahaha this has made my day! Hahaha the darting really doesn’t ever stop, does it! Ohhhhhh the joys of marriage. Even the fighting makes me feel like we can get through anything. It’s team work at its finest.

  • Perri says:

    I love this… so important to remember that the depth in a relationship is where the happiness is! xo Perri

  • Lauren says:

    “He puts buffalo sauce on EVERY THING, and loses his keys and wallet everyday.”

    We might be married to the same person!

    • atflook@gmail.com says:

      LOL that is hilarious!!!! i just laughed out loud. glad i’m not the only one x

Hi, I'm Alexie Flook

I am a twenty-something year old world-traveler, turned stay at home mom! I live in Maryland with my 2 year old son, one month old daughter, beautiful British husband, and neurotic boxer dog! This space is filled with honest reviews, personal musings, and my successes and failures as a natural homeopathic mother and wif

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  • After months of symptoms and few conclusions, we've been advised to eliminate gluten from Hudson's diet. After doing our own research and further understanding how DIFFERENT the genetic makeup of wheat is compared to its original state (which causes our bodies to struggle with digesting it), we've decided to minimize the gluten in our diets as well! Enter Young Living's EINKORN FLOUR. Einkorn is the ancient form of wheat with the ORIGINAL genetic makeup which means it has EXTREMELY low gluten content and is way easier for our bodies to digest so nutrients are better absorbed. Plus Dr. Axe called it the superior grain so all systems go for this crunchy mom. I love learning about healthier options and how to make our family healthier and happier! Plus since these chocolate chip cookies are vegan and mostly gluten-free I can eat the whole batch, right? That's how it works?
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